seacoast outright

Working to ensure equal opportunity for all youth, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.

Welcome Parents!

It can be intimidating for a youth to walk into a Seacoast Outright meeting for the first time. But it can also be difficult for parents to drop off their children without knowing what to expect. Sexual orientation and gender identity can be tough subjects for people to talk about. We have experience talking about sexual orientation and gender identity in a sensitive and respectful way – we’ve been doing it for ten years!

What happens at Seacoast Outright meetings?

At Seacoast Outright, we create a safe, welcoming, relaxed atmosphere. New youth attend group almost every week, so we’re comfortable meeting new people. More than likely, your youth will be greeted individually by one of the four adult facilitators soon after they enter the meeting space. As a parent or guardian, you’re welcome to come in and say a brief hello and meet the facilitators before Group starts. The meeting space is usually pretty hectic before Group starts, so if you’d like to have a more lengthy discussion, we encourage you to contact the our Executive Director during the week.

Guidelines & Intros

Once Group starts, the first order of business is to go over the guidelines of the meeting. After that, there’s a brief introduction time where youth can share some basic facts about themselves with the group: their name, where they’re from, age, and their sexual orientation and gender identity. Youth are free to share as much or as little as they want, and it’s always ok to pass if they’re not comfortable talking in a group.      more >

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What do you tell the youth about being gay?

One question that we’ve been asked by concerned parents is whether or not we’re going to tell their child that it’s ok to be gay. The answer to that is an unequivocal YES. But we would never tell any youth that he or she is gay, straight, bisexual, or anything else. Our mission is not to tell any person what his or her sexual orientation or gender identity is. We believe in simply creating a safe space for youth to talk, ask questions, receive accurate information, and get support from their peers.

We believe that being gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans or straight is not something that someone can choose or that someone can change. What can be changed is how youth feel about themselves. The well-being and safety of the youth that attend Seacoast Outright is our top priority. We’ve spent ten years creating safer spaces for them and will continue to provide this space as long as it’s needed.

What do you do when your child comes out?

Parents respond in many different ways when they discover that their child is gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, or questioning his or her sexual orientation or gender identity. Reactions can range from anger, grief, and disbelief, to pride in the courage it takes for a young person to come out. There are many resources for parents coming to terms with a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered child. One resource is an organization called P-FLAG ("Parents and Friends of Gays and Lesbians").      more >

The Heterosexual Questionnaire

One way for straight people to start thinking about what it's like to be gay is to read through the "Heterosexual Questionnaire" by Martin Rochlin.

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Books to Read

Here is a list of suggested "first read" books for parents, prepared by Seacoast NH P-FLAG:

Coming Out To Parents, by Mary V. Borhek (Pilgrim Press, 1983).

Rubyfruit Jungle, by Rita Mae Brown (Bantam Books, 1973, 1988).

Loving Someone Gay, by Don Clark (Celestialarts, 1977, 1987).

When Someone You Know is Gay, by Susan and Daniel Cohen (Celestialarts, 1989).

Now That You Know, by Betty Fairchild (Harcourt Brace, 1977).

Reflections of a Rock Lobster, by Aaron Fricke (Alyson Publications, 1981).

Annie on My Mind, by Nancy Garden (Farrar, Straus &Giroux, 1982).

One Teenager in Ten, by Ann Heron (Alyson Publications, 1983).

On Being Gay, by Brian McNaught (St. Martin's, 1988).

Parents Matter, by Ann Muller (Naiad Press, 1987).

The Best Little Boy in the World, by John Reid (Ballantine, 1976).

Understanding Sexual Identity, by Janice E. Rench (Lerner, 1990).

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last updated: 08/09/2004
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